When Discipline becomes violence
Know when you are crossing the line under the domestic violence act
When Discipline Becomes Violence: Knowing when you are crossing the Line Under Ghanaian Law
“Your rights end where another person’s rights begin.”
It is a simple statement, yet it carries profound legal and moral truth.
We live in a society where parents are expected to discipline their children. Fathers and mothers are expected to correct. Husbands and wives are expected to speak honestly to each other. Guardians are expected to train. Elders are expected to guide.
But here is the difficult question:
When does correction become cruelty?
When does honesty become humiliation?
When does discipline become violence?
When does “I meant well” become “I caused harm”?
A recent incident involving a father who severely assaulted his child maybe out of frustration reminds us of a sobering truth: good intentions do not excuse harmful conduct. If care is not taken, correction can become abuse.
So where exactly is the line?
The Law Says More Than You Think
Under Ghana’s Domestic Violence Act, 2007 (Act 732), domestic violence does not only happen between husbands and wives.
It applies wherever there is a domestic relationship, including:
✔ Spouses and former spouses
✔ People living together, including co tenants
✔ People dating or engaged
✔ Parents of a child
✔ Family members
✔ Housemates
✔ House helps
✔ Dependants, elderly relatives, foster relationships
In other words, the law applies inside the home, around the home, and within family-like relationships. And in all these relationships, one principle remains: Your rights end where another person’s dignity begins.
Domestic Violence Is Not Only Beating or physical abuse
Many people think: “I didn’t hit anyone, so it’s not abuse.”
The law disagrees. Domestic violence includes:
✔ Physical abuse
✔ Sexual abuse
✔ Emotional and psychological abuse
✔ Economic abuse
✔ Threats and intimidation
✔ Harassment
✔ Conduct that undermines another person’s dignity, safety, privacy, or wellbeing
So let us test ourselves.
As you read each scenario, ask yourself:
Would I call this discipline or abuse? Am I guilty of any of these?
Scenario 1: “I Was Only Warning Him”
Ten-year-old Kofi accidentally breaks a glass cup.
His uncle grabs a belt, picks up a knife, and says:
“If you ever do that again, I’ll cut your fingers.”
From that day, Kofi trembles whenever his uncle comes home.
Question:
Discipline… or abuse?
Legal Answer:
Abuse.
This is criminal threat and intimidation.
Scenario 2: “Children Must Be Corrected”
Eight-year-old Ama forgets to sweep before school. She did the same last week
Her caregiver or guardian beats her with an electric cable, till she experiences cuts on her legs.
Question:
Training… or abuse?
Legal Answer:
Abuse.
This is physical violence and cruel treatment
Scenario 3: “I Am Your Husband”
A wife says she is sick and not willing to have sex.
Her husband replies:
“You are my wife. You have no choice.”
He forces himself on her.
Question:
Marital right… or abuse?
Legal Answer:
Abuse.
Marriage does not cancel consent.
Scenario 4: “I Control the Money”
Efua runs a small business. Her partner takes all her mobile money proceeds, keeps her ATM card, and says: “You’ll only get money if you obey me.” He later sells her sewing machine without her consent.
Question:
Family leadership… or abuse?
Legal Answer:
Abuse.
This is economic abuse.
Scenario 5: “I Am Just Being Honest”
Every morning a mother tells her daughter Efua, who often comes 29th in a class of 30 pupils:
“You are stupid.”
“You will never become anything.”
“Your siblings are better than you.”
The child becomes withdrawn and afraid to speak in class.
Question:
Honest correction… or abuse?
Legal Answer:
Abuse.
Words can wound as deeply as weapons.
Scenario 6: “I’m Just Checking On Her”
After a breakup, a man calls his ex-partner 15 times a day, follows her to work, sends threatening messages, and waits outside her office.
Question:
Love… or abuse?
Legal Answer:
Abuse.
This is harassment and intimidation.
Scenario 7: “I Need To Teach Him A Lesson”
A caregiver forces a child to kneel outside while neighbours watch, shouts insults, and records videos to send to relatives of how bad a boy that child is.
The child stops interacting with others.
Question:
Discipline… or humiliation?
Legal Answer:
Abuse.Dignity matters under the law.
Scenario 8: “She Is Only a House Help”
Fourteen-year-old Adjoa works as a live-in helper in a family home in Accra. She wakes up at 4:30 a.m. every day to sweep, wash, cook, and care for the children. She works until late at night with little rest. Whenever she makes a mistake, Madam shouts:
“You are useless!”
“Your family sent you here because you are nothing!”
Sometimes food is served to everyone, but Adjoa is told:
“You can eat what is left, if there is any.”
One day she breaks a plate. Her employer locks her in a store room for 2 and takes away her phone so she cannot call home.
Question:
Training a house help… or abuse?
Legal Answer:
Abuse.
I do not need to say more , just use the Self-Check Test
Before you speak…
Before you discipline…
Before you send that message…
Before you raise your hand…
Ask yourself:
Does this make the other person feel…
□ Afraid?
□ Unsafe?
□ Humiliated?
□ Controlled?
□ Worthless?
□ Trapped?
□ Violated?
□ Silenced?
□ Deprived?
If your answer is yes, even a little yes, pause.
You are not disciplining.
You are abusing. You have just become an aggressor and an abuser
These are my final thoughts:
The law does not forbid correction.
The law does not forbid truth.
The law does not forbid discipline.
But the law draws a clear line:
Correction must never destroy dignity.
Authority must never become oppression.
Discipline must never become violence.
Because in every home, every marriage, every family, and every relationship, your rights end where another person’s humanity begins. Whether they are your spouse, your child , your house help, or your co-tenant. Lets take a cue !!
